What Every Wife Needs to Know on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Also rounding the corner are sweet sentiments, weird chalky hearts, and adorable homemade Valentine’s boxes.

But depending on the state of your marriage, Valentine’s Day can run the full range of emotions. Sweet. Sour. Hopeful. Hard. Whether this day is sweet or sour, every single one of us can identify with the same soul-longing: we long to be incredibly special. To be captivating. To be remembered.

Dearest wife,  I want to remind you that if the King of All Things were to pass a chalky, pink candy heart from the back of the class to your seat, it would most certainly ask: Be mine?

This Valentine’s Day–whether we are wrapped up in marriage bliss or wrapping marriage blisters–let’s wrap our longings in love with three words that are true of you: Chosen. Delightful. Loved.

You Are Chosen

One of the sweetest things God tells His people is that it’s not because of anything they have done or not done, because of anything they are or are not, because of anything they have messed up or not messed up that He has set His affections on them. It is simply because He looked at them, loved them, and chose them to be His. If you are following God, this means you. He has chosen you. When my first baby boy was born and handed to me, I was overwhelmed with love for him. And the only thing he did was exist. This is how God feels about you.

The Lord did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. But it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your ancestors that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.

— Deuteronomy 7

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

— 1 Peter 2:9

You are Delightful

The God who sets the stars into place, who holds the ocean in His hands, who said the word and the world was created–this mighty, strong, powerful God–made you and finds you delightful. Look at the synonyms for delight: enchant, captivate, thrill, please greatly. Soak it in. God is not annoyed, frustrated, or mad at you. He reaches for you, clears steady ground for you, and rescues you because He DELIGHTS in you.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;

he drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemy,

from my foes, who were too strong for me.

They confronted me in the day of my disaster,

but the Lord was my support.

He brought me out into a spacious place;

he rescued me because he delighted in me.

— Psalm 18:17-19

You Are Loved
There’s a moment where Jesus gets up from dinner with his best friends, kneels, and removes the sandals of those men. And He washes their feet. Their grimy, stinky, dirty feet.

Whatever dirt is in your life that you are walking around with–Jesus wants to meet you there. He wants to get down in it and be with you. He loves you. He is not disgusted by you. Or afraid of you. Or disappointed in you. He came to seek you, serve you, save you. Only love voluntarily washes feet.

I love how God even sings over us with His love:

The Lord your God is with you,

the Mighty Warrior who saves.

He will take great delight in you;

in his love he will no longer rebuke you,

but will rejoice over you with singing.

— Zephania 3:17

This year as you are buying cards and delicious dark chocolate covered almonds, pause for a moment. Repeat who you are: Chosen. Delightful. Loved. And enjoy the love of the most incredible Valentine ever. God’s gushing love for you.

Wife Step: Which word speaks to you today? Chosen? Delightful? Loved? Sit in this fact. Let that word wash over you. Reread the truth about how God feels about you today.  

Amy graduated from BGSU in 2001 and married her college sweetheart, Rob, one week later. Amy worked in the college ministry of Cru from 2003 to 2015–8 of those years she served as Team Leader. Since 2003 she has regularly blessed the Cru staff, students, and BGSU Greek life with her exceptional speaking, teaching, leading, and mentoring abilities. In June of 2015, Amy brought her experience to the Brookside Staff Team as Director of Outward Movement. In November of 2017, Amy wrote her first book on motherhood titled “Chin Up: Wearing Grace, Strength, and Dignity When Motherhood Unravels Our Souls.” Amy loves anything athletic and competitive, especially tennis and Spikeball, and in her words she “really tries to believe that winning isn’t everything. But, that’s hard.” Amy also enjoys creating things, decorating, and helping others make beautiful spaces. Amy and Rob have three amazing kids ranging from 3 to 10 years old.