All Wives

5 Words to Bless Your Marriage and Parenting

July 19, 2021

By Lana Wilkens

Did you know there are five simple words you can use to bless your marriage, parents? I’m sharing them with you today!

Bless Your Marriage with These 5 Words

I remember the first time I listened to a Family Discipleship Seminar. My oldest was about six months old and I was immediately hooked. John S. Mahon was talking about what he calls The Big Five. The information was totally new to me and I could hardly believe it. I can preemptively train our kiddos for their success and to create the home we want to have? Wow!

We did the Bible Study, teaching us all about the differences between punishment and discipline. We discovered how to implement a training method and tweak it to fit our family. And, most importantly, we saw all throughout scripture the basis for discipleship. 

I hope The Big Five blesses not only your kids, but your marriage too. If you want to listen to a teaching straight from him, go find him on Sermon Audio and don’t forget the middle initial! Here’s the list of five words and some examples of how each word has been an enormous benefit to our marriage.

5 Words to Bless Your Marriage and Parenting


Kids cannot ever come into our room without knocking. Um, can you say sexy time? This word has also given me space to do things I enjoy without interruption, like writing, reading and other pursuits. “No, don’t come into my room” or “Please don’t come in until after 3:30” have worked wonders for my personal space and my relationship with God and my husband.


We’ve used this one for brushing teeth, closing doors, cleaning rooms, sitting still, shaking someone’s hand and practicing good manners. So how has this word blessed my marriage? Now we can go out to dinner at a nice restaurant with fewer worries. We can bring our kids with us to events and museums and trust them to be (mostly) well behaved. It’s given our family time a bit more of the fun factor.


In the street? Come. Need help with something? Come. My husband likes to be on time. When we need to go somewhere as a family, it always takes a long time to get everyone ready. But it takes less time because my children have learned to come when they are called. Also, we can trust them to come to us when it’s time to go without a struggle or power play, like from a park or playground.


Our possessions aren’t entitlements. My husband and I have a lower stress level when we have less stuff around. Taking care of all the basic things is hard (you know that!). Add stuff upon stuff on top of the basics, and I get cranky. And there isn’t a man in the world who loves to be around a cranky wife. So, one gift I can give my husband is teaching my kids to give away unnecessary things. When it’s time to give away our unnecessary things, they can do it with a good attitude.


There is a time for being loud and a time for being quiet. Kids are naturally loud, right? So we had to teach them the value of silence. It’s beneficial when we invite someone over and want to hear their story or give them space to talk. Also when we’re having important discussions and need them to not interrupt. Hush has also been helpful during that magical hour when we’re trying to get dinner on the table.

These five words have become crucial to our family as we train our kids for success but also for our daily life in marriage. The Big Five has given our kids a starting point for obedience and self-control. They have laid the foundation for other concepts as they grow in understanding and ability. 

Wife Step: Which of these five words will you focus on this week?

5 Words To Bless Your Marriage And Parenting

Lana Leigh Wilkens, author of Knee-Jerk Mom, helps women discover their authentic family values and challenges them to ask the right questions so they can decide with confidence, not comparison.

Do you want to intentionally grow your faith and marriage? If so, we’ve created the A Wife Like Me Collective for you! We’re waiting for you!

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