All Wives

4 Ways to Refresh Your Marriage – Karen Friday

January 30, 2019

4 Ways to Refresh Your Marriage

Refreshing takes place every day in my home.


The button is clicked countless times on my computer when I make edits to a website or social media profile. But if I don’t hit refresh, my computer sees the former version of a page in its memory.


Refreshing is actually not only useful in technology, but it’s also biblical. For instance, Sabbath rest refreshes us (Exodus 23:12) and the God the Father refreshes our soul (Psalm 23:2).


The Lord knew every area of our lives would need refreshing and revitalizing – particularly our love and our relationships.


First and foremost, God desires a daily refreshment through interaction and intimacy with Him. Secondly, we let the Lord give new energy to our marriage as we set our sights on the refresh button.


While the marriage pages in our memory may contain fun-loving moments, sometimes we hold too tight to yesterday’s marriage memories instead of making new ones. Because changes we’d like to see are only visible after we refresh.


Re-energizing our marriage takes intentional effort.


Here are four ways to refresh your marriage.


  1. Change your normal routine. Sure, routines are helpful for many reasons. But when it comes to your spouse, routine is dull and boring. Remember how energized you felt in the dating relationship? We breathe new energy into our marriage when we change the way we have always done things. This can be as simple as doing different activities together like going on a walk or playing cards instead of screen time.
  2. Boost your communication. Listen to hear and understand. Speak to relay positive encouragement and not negativity. My husband, a pastor, conveyed these thoughts in a sermon on marriage. In every argument or discussion, there are either two winners or two losers, not one of each. This doesn’t mean we keep silent on the tough issues or never convey our hurts or needs. But when our words create a negative atmosphere, our spouse feels defeated.
  3. Revitalize your thoughtfulness. Sending notes of encouragement or giving a friend a gift excites me – but thought-out acts of kindness for my husband sometimes falls off my radar. Why is that? The enemy. He doesn’t want our marriages refreshed. Make sure your spouse is on the receiving end of your thoughtfulness.
  4. Invigorate your dates. Whatever the season of life, date nights or date days should be protected with a passion. Do you have young children and live away from family? Find good babysitters or swap kids with another family. Dragging from the long work week? Get in bed early on Friday night and plan a daytime adventure on Saturday. Running low on funds? Research creative, inexpensive dates for couples at home. Once, my husband and I went to Sonic Drive-In for milkshakes and listened to oldies music on the radio.


Wife Step: Choose one of these four ways to refresh your marriage and implement it today!

Karen Friday is a pastor’s wife and women’s ministry leader. As an award-winning writer and avid speaker, she loves words and God’s Word. For over a decade, she has balanced the busy life of church ministry with working from her home office in marketing where she is frequently referred to as Girl Friday. A blogger, Karen “Girl” Friday engages a community every week, Hope is Among Us. She has published a number of articles and devotions in both print and online media, and is currently working on her first book. Karen’s writing connects family life experiences, Christian ministry, and real life scenarios as women to the timeless truths of Scripture. Vulnerable about her own marriage journey, Karen knows life never gets more real than as a wife. Karen and her husband Mike have two grown children and a grandson. The entire family is fond of the expression, “TGIF: Thank God it’s Friday.” They owe Monday an apology.

Visit her blog at


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