By Victoria Riollano

Influencing your children together as a husband-and-wife team is biblical and possible. Here are tips to encourage you today.

Influencing Your Children Together

As a mother of seven and wife of sixteen years, I quickly learned that I could not lead my little ones alone. At one point, I chose to take ownership of all things parenting: bedtimes, what the children ate, teaching them the Bible, and more. It became clear that without my husband’s help, I would exhaust myself and diminish his ability to have a voice in raising them!  

The truth is, there is wisdom and life experience that my husband brings to the table which I do not. There are areas where he may be weak while I may be strong, and vice-versa. Although society places much weight on mothers to lead the charge, I’ve found that my husband and I must be united in our efforts. 

We must seek intentional ways to influence our children together. When we place the pressure of parenting on one spouse, we miss out on the beauty that both bring to the table. We neglect to see that the Holy Spirit speaks to our husbands just as much as he speaks to us wives about our children. Finding a balance between mother and father influence shows our children that we are a team and want to see them reach their highest potential.

Influencing Your Children as a Team

The Bible is not one-sided about parenting. You will find numerous scriptures that point to the mother and father being respected. Proverbs 23:22 says, “Listen to your father who gave you life and do not despise your mother when she is old” (ESV). 

We see this sentiment nestled in the commandments as well: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12 (ESV).

Mothers and fathers are called to work together in impacting their children. In the eyes of the Lord, children will be held accountable for how they respond to the instruction of both parents. In the same way, the Lord places a demand on parents to train their children well, together.

3 Ways You Can Influence Your Children Together

Try these three tips to get on the same page in influencing your children.

1. Talk about issues together before making a final decision.

Making choices for the family as a couple is important. When one spouse has the final say on issues regarding the children, you will find that the other spouse may feel invisible. Remember, in God’s eyes our priority is to our spouse, even before our children. Before making the next choice, pause and get your husband’s input.

2. Take turns leading family devotions. 

Family devotions are a great way to get children focused on God’s Word. Each parent should have a turn sharing from the Bible. This will allow your children to trust both their mother and their father when they have questions about the Bible. If both parents are believers, there is no reason why we can’t step back and have our husbands share what God is speaking to their hearts. I am certain it will not only bless the children but you as well.

3. Encourage your children to seek their father for advice and wisdom.

Children tend to run to their mom for most things. Although there is comfort in being their safe space, we should seek opportunities to direct them to our husbands. His influence is just as important and we should give him the privilege of sharing his wisdom with his children, even if it’s different from our own. This is an excellent opportunity for our children to see an example of the Father’s love and care for them through their earthly father’s choice to attend to their needs. 

Together, we can influence our children well for Jesus! Let us not become so accustomed to carrying the charge alone that we forget the harmony that comes in influencing your children together.

Wife Step: Which of the three tips will you try this week to bring more harmony into your parenting?

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