By Kendra Roehl
Would you like to create greater trust within your family? I have practical encouragement for you today.
How to Create Trust Within Your Family
“How do you create a family where everyone remains close even after your kids are grown and have left the house?”
This question was asked among our church group that meets on Sunday evenings. Phil and Ruth Ann, an older couple who’ve weathered years of marriage and raising kids smiled a little as they looked at one another, pausing before they answered.
“There are several things to do. Creating memories along the way is so important,” Ruth Ann started as she explained some of their favorite times together as a family.
“You can create for your family something that maybe you didn’t even have,” Phil added. They both went on to give examples of times they’ve encouraged their kids in their relationships with one another.
As we drove home, I thought about our conversation and the wisdom of a couple a little further down the road of life. I pondered once again the kind of family we’re creating, one that will hopefully be healthy and whole, even after our kids are grown and have left our home.
3 Ways to Create Trust Within Your Family
Here’s my list of three ways to create trust and build relationships within your family:
- We will always be honest with each other.
We’ve let our kids know that there is nothing hidden in our home, nothing too secret that can’t be shared. We are always willing to talk about anything and everything. Nothing is off-limits, too embarrassing or so bad that they can’t come and confide in us. We will always listen to them and love them, no matter what.
- We will treat one another with respect.
There’s no name-calling or talking behind one another’s backs in our family. This is true of my husband and I, but also of our kids. We let our children know that it’s okay to be upset with one another—conflict is normal and even healthy. But we will go to the person with whom we’re upset and bring resolution and reconciliation directly with them.
- We will be one another’s biggest cheerleaders.
In our house, everyone encourages each other. When my son has a big soccer game, we bring the other kids to watch. When my daughter has a dance competition, the whole family comes to cheer her on. We show that we are interested in and genuinely care for each other, even if it’s not the thing in which we are personally interested. We care about the things that matter to other family members because we love them.
Creating trust intentionally in your home is just the start of what it means to be a part of a family. Teaching our kids healthy boundaries, honesty, respect and love for one another will help them remain close and connected even in adulthood. As parents, we get to set the tone for our homes.
Even if our upbringing was hard or unhealthy, we get to choose the kind of environment we’ll create going forward. With God’s help, we can move our families into health and wholeness.
Wife Step: Which of these three tips will help you create trust within your family?
Do it afraid. Kendra Roehl has sought to live out that advice as a social worker, foster parent, mother of five, public speaker and author. Kendra and her husband have become well-known advocates for foster care, taking in over 20 children in six years, and adopting three of them. She continues to care for others on their journeys as a frequent speaker, a founder of The Ruth Experience and an author of several books, including the One Year Daily Acts of Friendship: 365 Days to Finding, Keeping, and Loving Your Friends. You can find her on Instagram and Facebook @theruthexperience
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