By Michelle Barringer

Did you know God loves to bless his children with wisdom? All we need to do is ask him. But to admit we need help requires humility, and this can be hard for some of us. 

Nevertheless, “with humility comes wisdom” Proverbs 11:2b (NIV). When we get wisdom, we get so many blessings. In fact, wisdom will reveal the way forward.

With Humility Comes Wisdom

Something was wrong with my marriage. I didn’t know what it was and therefore I didn’t know how to fix it. For a few years, I pretended I could handle things on my own, but I was wrong. Finally, I acknowledged I needed help because I was failing by myself.

As Simon Sinek states, “Failure we can do alone. Success always takes help.”

I desired a successful marriage. I didn’t want to end up divorced like so many others. But admitting my marriage struggles challenged my perception of myself and my beliefs.

Letting go of my pride, I sought out counseling. Humbling myself required honesty and transparency with the counselor, myself, Jesus, and a few others. Thankfully, with this humility came wisdom. But before I gained one ounce of wisdom, I had to gain some knowledge.

Jesus knew I needed to gain wisdom before I could know how to change things in my marriage. While it was embarrassing for me to tell a complete stranger about my marital struggles, it was one of the wisest things I’ve done.

Solomon Asked for Wisdom

When Solomon became king after his father David, the Lord appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream. God said to Solomon, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.” 1 Kings 3:5 (NIV)

In humility, Solomon asked for wisdom. He said, “I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties… So, give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. 1 Kings 3:7-9 (NIV)

Solomon recognized he was young and didn’t know how to carry out his duties as king (1 Kings 3:7). I felt this same way in my marriage. Even though I had been married a dozen years at the time, I didn’t know how to carry out my duties as a wife when we entered a hard season in our marriage.

God blessed Solomon with a wise and discerning heart. That’s what I desired too. In fact, the Bible says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5 (NIV)

I started asking Jesus for wisdom to help me know why we were struggling in our marriage, and then to help me make good use of this knowledge. I wanted good judgment. I wanted to know how to have a healthy marriage and not head toward divorce.

Gaining Wisdom is a Process

Asking for wisdom changed the trajectory of my life. Like Solomon, God didn’t just bless me with wisdom for my marriage; he blessed me with a wise and discerning heart in other areas of my life too. However, this didn’t happen overnight. It’s been a process over time that’s included lots of counsel, prayer, patience, practice, and perseverance.

Admitting that my husband and I were on the brink of divorce more than once humbles me still. A godly marriage requires wise and discerning hearts. Even after thirty-five years of marriage, I still ask for wisdom because each stage of life brings new challenges.

Jesus knows we lack wisdom. Admitting we don’t know what we don’t know requires humility. Admitting to another human requires humility too. As wives, we need wisdom because we will face many troubles in this married life (1 Corinthians 7:28).

Never stop asking Jesus for wisdom. He loves to bless you with it. But remember to humble yourself because with humility comes wisdom.

Wife Step: Ask Jesus for wisdom in a particular area of your marriage.

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