When You’re Not Able to Hit the ‘Like’ Button in Marriage
We live in a world of online friendships and like-buttons. Within minutes or even seconds of a social media post, we hope for some likes. Loves and wows are not too shabby either.
Yet here’s a disclaimer online social venues should put in print: We aren’t liable for your lack of likes or engagement on any post; please don’t hold us accountable for rude remarks, but consider blocking the person responsible; and if you want more presence, consider posts that might have better appeal to our online community.
Bottom line – sometimes you won’t ‘like’ things.
In the same way, sometimes you be unable to hit the ‘like’ button in marriage.
There are times we feel our husband is not our friend. Rude remarks are left hanging in the air long after we leave the room. So we block our husband on an emotional level. Because, if you’re similar to me, I don’t believe he deserves my like or my love in that moment.
But when my husband doesn’t like me in a particular instance, he assures me, “This doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” While it’s hard to believe, I choose whether or not to walk in the assurance of his love.
I must lay down the lie that like and love are the same in marriage.
And it holds true for times I refuse to click the ‘like’ button for my husband. Sometimes I never acknowledge such a button exists. Especially if I’m hurt, sulking, or having a pity party.
Here’s the truth. Christ loves you when you are not likable. And if you’re like me, you can be ‘not likable’ —a lot.
If Jesus ceased to love me every time I messed up, He would be a God of superficial love. My story is full of never-ending love from a God who loves me when others don’t like me . . . when I don’t like myself. And He still calls us “friend.”
God still loves my husband when I don’t feel like hitting the ‘like’ button in our marriage. God is the only One who transforms us and our spouse into His image. Only God helps us love our husbands when we don’t like them.
How can we walk as wives in the assurance that God loves us and our husbands when we’re not able to hit the ‘like’ button?
Wife step: Memorize God’s disclaimer: “You can never do anything to lose my love for you. Neither can <insert your husband’s name>.
“My love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:7 ESV.
Karen Friday is a pastor’s wife and women’s ministry leader. As an award-winning writer and avid speaker, she loves words and God’s Word. For over a decade, she has balanced the busy life of church ministry with working from her home office in marketing where she is frequently referred to as Girl Friday. A blogger, Karen “Girl” Friday engages a community every week, Hope is Among Us. She has published a number of articles and devotions in both print and online media, and is currently working on her first book. Karen’s writing connects family life experiences, Christian ministry, and real life scenarios as women to the timeless truths of Scripture. Vulnerable about her own marriage journey, Karen knows life never gets more real than as a wife. Karen and her husband Mike have two grown children and a grandson. The entire family is fond of the expression, “TGIF: Thank God it’s Friday.” They owe Monday an apology.
Visit her blog at KarenGirlFriday.com