It’s that time of the month, again. Have you communicated this to your husband and/or your children?

Oh my goodness, you may be thinking. Why in the WORLD would I want to talk about premenstrual syndrome with them?!?

Why Talking About it Helps

By talking about PMS with your loved ones, you give them the opportunity to show you extra grace while holding yourself accountable. 

For the past 30 years, I’ve dealt with mild to moderate PMS symptoms. The bloating, irritability, touch-me-not feelings. Days when only fistfuls of chocolate helped me feel better. Mood swings that tempted me to put an edge into my tone and raise my voice’s volume level over unimportant matters.

At times, PMS can make me into a monster.

Do you get me, dear wife?

Very few of us have absolutely no symptoms that time-of-the-month. It may be the hardest time for us to exercise wisdom with our words. Keep heated emotions from spilling over onto others. Refrain from pushing others away, even when that’s not our intent.

Though we can’t completely remove PMS from our lives, we can change how we handle it.

Let’s start with what we can control. 

First, know your body. Are you as regular as a clock? Or are your cycles irregular? Either way, when you pay attention to your body’s signals, you can recognize times when PMS is more likely to affect you. It often occurs in the 7 to 14 days before your menstrual cycle begins.

Second, track your cycles and your symptoms. Write them down or record them in an app. Then, PMS won’t catch you off guard, and you’ll be better prepared to handle it with intention.

Third, pray for the Holy Spirit to give you extra self-control during the days you experience PMS. He can help you bite your tongue, make healthier eating choices, overlook offenses, and take responsibility for your thoughts, words and deeds–if you ask for his help, as often as you need it.

Once you’ve determined how you’ll handle PMS with God’s help, it’s time to talk with your loved ones.

Allow me to say why this is important. There is no quicker way for me to be tempted toward unrighteous reactions when my husband guesses aloud that it’s my time-of-the-month. Even if he’s pointing out a wrong I need to make right, my PMS monster overreacts in self-defense mode.

Surely I’m not the only one who’s experienced such a moment? A moment that could have gone so much better if I’d alerted him first?

Here’s an idea to get the PMS monster under control. Look at that calendar or app to find the times you are feeling good. You know, that middle-of-the-month feeling. That’s the best time to alert your husband and/or children about the upcoming week or two, when you could use a little extra grace. It’s not as effective to share the wild hormones you’re experiencing as your throwing dishes in the sink. Just saying. 

At the same time, be sure to say that you’ll be doing your part with God’s help, asking the Holy Spirit to bear the fruit of self-control in you.

If you say this in front of your sons and daughters, you will model how they can act in their future families. Your sons will learn how to show extra grace to their wives and daughters during PMS episodes. And your daughters will learn how to practice greater self-control with the Holy Spirit’s help.

Here’s a verse that you can meditate on to overcome the PMS monster:

A wise woman builds her home,  but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1 NLT

With practice, you can overcome the PMS monster and bring greater peace to your home. Don’t allow the foolish PMS monster to tear down the peace in your home once a month. Be a wise woman who builds her home with honesty, accountability, and the fruit of self-control.

Wife Step: Start an honest conversation about PMS with one family member this week.