Overcoming a Nagging Spirit

Here I go again, doing exactly what I promised myself I would not do…nagging my husband. Why does this seem to be a constant with me?

Are you a nagger?  Do you insist on making your opinions known, despite the negativity they envoke?  Are you constantly finding fault with your spouse – his words, or his actions?

Proverbs 21:19 says, “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.”  Ouch. My poor hubby. He lives with me and we live in the desert.  

It’s so strange how our heart can desire to be one way, yet we act another.  This is nothing new. One of Jesus’ friends, the Apostle Paul, struggled with this very thing and wrote of it in Romans 7:15, saying, “I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate to do.”

I hate to nag, yet I continue to do it, caught in the vicious cycle of wanting my opinion heard and wanting things my way.

I praise God for a gentle husband who typically doesn’t let my nagging get the best of him.  I am so thankful for his heart of grace. However, this doesn’t excuse my sin, and doesn’t let me off the hook for trying to find a way to overcome it.

There are times I’ve been able to get out of this place of nagging.

So how can we overcome a nagging spirit?

1.  Pray.  This should always be our first course of action.  We can ask God to give us a spirit of compassion and kindness.  We can ask him to help us recognize when our attitudes are out of order.

2.  Apologize. The ones we love the most are often the ones we hurt the most, with our negative words and ill attitudes. Saying “I’m sorry” goes a long way when we have hurt someone with our words or actions. Be the one who maturally owns your wrongs.

3.  Breathe.  There are going to be times when we want to say something that will most definitely come across in a nagging way.  But if we stop and breath, allowing space for us to pray, it gives our minds a moment to pause, which brings us to a new outcome. Perhaps we keep silent, or, speak with kindness.

4.  Persevere.  When we fail, as we all will at times, don’t give up.  We persevere as we strive to be wives who speak positivity into her husband, and as we aspire to be wives with gentle spirits and compassionate tongues.  We persevere as we keep our sights set on being wives who build our husbands up instead of tearing them down.

The struggle is real, ladies. But so is our God, from whom we get all power.  Through Him, we are more than able to be wives who can overcome our nagging spirits and become blessings to our husbands.

To create a deeper desire in your heart for your husband, grab your copy of Dear Wife, here.

Wife Step:  If you find yourself nagging and negative, challenge yourself to take this burden before the Lord.  Ask Him to fill your heart with appreciation for your husband, asking God to help you focus on all that you love about your man.  Then, practice speaking words of encouragement over your spouse, making a real effort to keep your eyes fixed on all that is good.

Betty Predmore is a writer, blogger, speaker, and ministry leader. She is a licensed Christ-based counselor and is Co-founder of the Women of Virtue Empowerment Network, a faith-based non profit organization created for the purpose of inspiring and encouraging women to find help and hope in Jesus Christ. She is also founder of Mom-Sense: Making Sense of Motherhood, where she writes and speaks on motherhood issues. Betty loves to speak at events, sharing practical life application mingled with God’s word, and sprinkled with humor.  She enjoys sharing her blogs on social media as a way of reaching out on a broader spectrum.  Social media has given her a platform to reach much farther than her feet could take her.