Hope for Wives Who Grew Up Without a

Godly Example of Marriage

Even though most young girls dream of a wedding day and a forever-after, I had resolved not to marry. No thanks, not for me. I sat on the front-row seat to multiple divorces when always and forever ended, and no way did I want to put myself through one. 

When life is the sum of bride-and-groom photos torn down the middle, you become torn down the middle. The debris scattered across my life from toddler years to adulthood. Meeting another stepfather or stepmother, and more step siblings became a normal part of life. As one can imagine, this caused fear and confusion around the idea of marriage.

Nonetheless, I became a wife who’s been married to my college sweetheart for thirty-four years. And thankfully, I was blessed with a husband whose parents’ marriage lasted until “death do us part.” 

While my in-laws didn’t have a perfect marriage (no couple does), they had something I wasn’t sure existed until I met them. 

Marriage grounded in the true love of Christ, and founded on biblical principles. 

None of my parents’ marriages ever displayed this model of a strong marriage for me. Maybe you grew up in a similar way to me, and therefore developed an image of marriage that is always either unloving and disappointing or shallow and emotionally disconnected.  

So, if you’ve been lacking Christian examples of marriage in your life, I want to provide you with some encouragement and hope.

First, know that you can break the cycle of broken marriages by deciding today it ends with you. 

How? 

We look to the only holy One in holy matrimony. Jesus. We see how Jesus himself modeled love and service. Are you spending time with Jesus in your every day? Is your life focused around getting to know God through prayer and His word? Although seeing a Godly example of marriage is ideal and refreshing, Jesus himself provides you the opportunity to experience this type of love through getting to know him yourself. Are you? By looking to Jesus himself as our model of marriage, we understand that hope in our marriage is a person. Jesus. 

Then, we can ask Christ to help us establish His model of a loving and godly marriage: grounded in true love and founded on biblical principles. 

Marriage grounded in true love. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us what love is and what love is not. Love is: patient, kind, rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, and never ends. Love is not: envious, boastful, arrogant, rude, demanding of its own way, irritable, resentful, and a rejoicing in wrongdoing.

Marriage founded on biblical principles. Genesis 2:24 points us to the start of any marriage: a man leaves his parents, holds fast to his wife, and they become one flesh. Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us that a strong marriage is the union of husband, wife, and the Lord, and a cord of three strands is not easily broken. Ephesians 5:25 encourages husbands to love wives as “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (ESV). And verse 22 teaches wives to view husbands as her head and for both husband and wife to see Christ as head of the church, and I believe head of their marriage.

Ladies, marriage isn’t easy, especially if we haven’t seen godly marriage modeled for us. But take it from me, it is possible to learn from the One who created marriage, just how to live and love while married. How to not only survive in marriage but thrive. We can create stronger generations and model godly marriages together.

Wife Step: Pray this prayer:  Lord, while no one modeled a godly marriage for me, You provide the holiness and hope to unlearn the disappointing pictures of marriage I carry in my heart. Give me a true picture of marriage in You. Grow the love of 1 Corinthians 13 in me as I model it to my husband. May we look to Your Word for a secure foundation. In the name of Jesus. Amen

Karen Friday is a pastor’s wife and women’s ministry leader. As an award-winning writer and avid speaker, she loves words and God’s Word. For over a decade, she has balanced the busy life of church ministry with working from her home office in marketing where she is frequently referred to as Girl Friday. A blogger, Karen “Girl” Friday engages a community every week, Hope is Among Us. She has published a number of articles and devotions in both print and online media, and is currently working on her first book. Karen’s writing connects family life experiences, Christian ministry, and real life scenarios as women to the timeless truths of Scripture. Vulnerable about her own marriage journey, Karen knows life never gets more real than as a wife. Karen and her husband Mike have two grown children and a grandson. The entire family is fond of the expression, “TGIF: Thank God it’s Friday.” They owe Monday an apology. 

Visit her blog at KarenGirlFriday.com