Forgiving Yourself

When we make mistakes in marriage it can strike right at the core of who we are as wife, mother, friend, etc.

We want to be a good wife.

We want to be a good mom.

We want to be a good friend.

We want to be a good <insert>.  

So, when we do something that questions any of those things, it can shake our identity and cause our security and confidence in ourselves to plummet.

Satan loves when this happens because he knows that the woman is the powerhouse in marriage and family. He knows that if he can get to the wife, he can potentially shake the family, and cause generations to fall.

No matter what you’ve done, you are not defined by your mistakes, you’re defined by His grace. Jesus came to save you. Not only that, he died a horrific death on the cross for you.

I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right. You shouldn’t have been so harsh. And yes, you should’ve made better choices. What were you thinking? Those are the things you’re asking yourself, right? Because they’re all valid questions. I asked myself those same questions more than a dozen times after I betrayed my husband.

So, no, you’re not good. None of us are good. Not on our own at least.

And we can’t fix it on our own. For far too long, you’ve tried to fix it on your own, because that’s what you do, right? When your baby has a dirty diaper, you fix it. When she’s hungry, you fix it. When every member of the family is coming down with the cold, you fix it. When you feel you’ve made too many mistakes in marriage, or you feel your mistake is too big, YOU try to fix it.

And isn’t that the problem?

When are we going to stop trying to do things on our own? What is it going to take? Can’t you see that you have a Father who is longing…literally, longing for you to turn to Him?

So to a fellow wife who’s made mistakes, imagine this: imagine God the father is gathering your face in His massive palms, and He’s looking intently into your beautiful eyes as he says this to you:

<insert your name here> I’ll restore the relationship we had when you were young, only this time it will be better. It will last forever, and nothing will lure you away from me again. You’ll remember your past life and face the shame of it, but when I shower you with the good life you had as before it will make your shame fade from your memory. Don’t try to fix it. I’ll fix it for you. I’ll make everything right after all you’ve done, and it will leave you speechless.” Ezekiel 16:60-63 (modified from MSG).

There is so much hope found here. He’ll restore you, it will be forever, the shame will be wiped away, God will make everything right, and you’ll be speechless.

What hope!

Wife Step: Open your hands, palm up. Read this prayer aloud: Jesus, forgive me. Forgive me for all of it – all of the inner intentions, outward behaviors, and spoken words. I give it all to you, and I turn away from all that has caused destruction in my life and in my marriage. Restore me, Lord. I will begin new with You today as Lord and leader of my heart, mind, and soul. Show me Your way, Lord. I love you.

What do you need forgiveness for? Share here or on our prayer wall – we’d love to pray for you.

Shannon Geurin is a wife, mother, writer and speaker; but most of all she’s a fighter. She has learned what it takes to fight for her marriage and family. She is deeply passionate about empowering women to rise up through their circumstances and fight in order to find their greatest calling.  Shannon loves serving an actively engaged “Fiercely His” community via her website www.shannongeurin.com. Her authentic, genuine style and courage to speak the truth is a breath of fresh air to her readers and is one of her greatest qualities. An Oklahoma girl at heart with the accent and “y’alls” to prove it, she currently resides in the beautiful mountains of Colorado.  She graduated with a nursing degree from the University of Oklahoma, but spends her time sipping coffee, writing and doing what she loves most, taking care of her crazy family. Shannon has been married for more than 25 years to her husband John,  and is Mom to two spirited daughters, Alex and Averee.

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