I’m not who I was when I got married.

It was less than three years ago when I stood at an altar in front of a cross and said, “I do,” to vows we wrote and vows we borrowed. And in less than three years, I have become a different person.

My heart has changed. I’ve grown closer to God. And I’ve learned to love myself more. I have very different interests and concerns than the girl who stood in a white dress at 24.

My husband isn’t the same person either. His passions have grown. His friendships have changed. The goals he has for himself and his family are vastly different than they were three years ago.

Maybe you’ve changed a lot since your wedding day, and maybe your husband has too. Maybe there have been some beautiful changes and maybe some that aren’t so lovely. And while sometimes the changes are positive ones, other changes can be difficult. 

Some changes threaten to steal away the promises we made on our wedding day.

When we base the commitment to our husbands on how we feel he has changed for the worse or for the best, we are putting our hope in a pretty shaky foundation.

But God. Our God never changes.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8 (NIV)

When we put our hope in Him, and we plant our roots down into Him (Colossians 2:7) in our marriages, we stand on the firmest foundation there has ever been.

You’re not who you were when you got married, but God is the same God today as the day you made a vow to Him and your husband.

There are no coincidences and no accidents in God’s Kingdom. He works everything out for our good. Don’t believe me? Read Romans 8:28. He is working your marriage out for good, too.

Don’t let differences distract you from the divine gift God has given you in your spouse. 

When marriage gets hard and the fights feel never-ending, we look up. When we wonder who in the world we even married, we look up. When we think maybe we should have married someone different because we ourselves are so different now, we look up.

We’ll never be the same as we were the day we wore a veil and cut a cake, but we can make a decision to hold on to the same feeling of honor and respect we had for our husbands that day. We can take those promises with us no matter how many times we change in this life. We can continue to look up as the world around us and inside us shifts. Because our God never shifts.

When we get married, we aren’t only agreeing to love the man in front of us for who he is that day, but for who he will be every day after that. Because we won’t always be who we are that day, and neither will he.

Wife Step: Write down three ways you’ve seen God remain constant and faithful throughout your marriage. Pray over those ways and thank Him for never changing, through the good and the bad.

Kaitlin is a wife, author, speaker, and coach who loves words, good coffee, and traveling to new cities. Her favorite places include airports, hotel rooms, and bookstores. Kaitlin and her husband Caleb live in Huntsville, AL and serve at Church of the Highlands. She never meets a stranger and is a sucker for brunch dates. She hopes everyone who meets her sees Jesus in her eyes and feels a little lighter when they leave her presence. You can say hi to Kaitlin on social media at @kaitlinchappellrogers on Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook, @kchaprogers on Twitter, or on her website at kaitlinchappellrogers.com!