It’s All Magical, Until It’s Not

Everything my husband said made me angry. I was mean and vicious to this poor man who had done nothing but love me well. But being married rubbed against the worst part of me – my selfishness. 

The early years of our marriage was a trial, and every day was forged in fire. I assumed marriage would come with fights and hard days, but my selfish heart proved to be a formidable opponent. 

There was so much I had yet to learn about what it meant to share my life with someone else, and there was still much that God needed to do in my heart spiritually before I could learn to love my husband well. I cringe a bit when I think back to those terrible fights we had, and the difficult times at the beginning of our marriage. 

It’s all magical, until it’s not. Until reality comes crashing down and the real test of your vows begins. 

That’s the thing about two fallen and sinful people coming together as one–there will be  struggle and the vows we make will be tested. 

So when we’re in the thick of it and feel like this whole marriage thing is for the birds, what do we do?

We get a fresh perspective of what our “I do’s” really mean, and what they don’t. 

Your “I do” means much more than better or worse, richer and poorer, sickness and health. 

It means saying “I do” even when you feel like you don’t.

It’s saying “I do” when he gets home late from work and the kids are out of control.

It’s saying “I do” when you go to bed angry, again.

It’s saying “I do” when he said something hurtful.

It’s saying “I do” when the bills aren’t paid and you’re sick of barely making it.

It’s saying “I do” when you wish you had more help around the house.

It’s saying “I do”  when you don’t agree.

It’s saying “I do” when the tears are drowning the many tough decisions.

It’s saying “I do” when you’re weighing who takes the day off to stay home with the sick kids.  It’s saying “I do” when your plans are thrown out the window and you want to throw an adult temper tantrum.

It’s saying “I do” when you’re scared.

It’s saying “I do” when it feels like a mess.

It’s saying “I do” when you don’t feel like saying it.

Oh friend, we will always struggle through trials, communication, finances, ministry, raising children – and so many other things. Just two imperfect people trying to walk through this thing called life and making it together. But, I think the mirage of a perfect wedding day filled with nerves is that we don’t truly and fully understand the words we are promising before God and our husband. But beauty comes in the journey. The everyday moment-to-moment “I do’s.”

Wife Step: Make your own list of “I do’s” that are specific to your marriage and your circumstance. Place it in your Bible or prayer journal, pray over it daily, asking God to help you say I do again and again. 

Michelle is a writer and speaker on a mission to equip women to thrive in their walk with Jesus by getting into God’s Word every day. She is a wife to Jeremy – a Minister of Music, and mom to three wild and wonderful kids. She loves Christmas music all year, collecting shells, crazy socks, and drinking lots of coffee. You can find her at www.displayinggrace.com, on Instagram @displayinggrace, or on Facebook @Displaygrace.