By Rebecca Hastings
How do you show yourself love?
The question landed like a rock tossed in a lake, sinking deep and leaving ripples. I was good at showing my kids love. I work hard to show my husband love. Friends, family, and even the grocery store cashier get a kind word or a smile. But me? Well, that’s another story.
But what if I have things mixed up? What if the words of Jesus guide me to something better?
Love Others As You Love Yourself
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-39 (CSB)
As I remember these verses in Matthew, I stop and consider their significance.
- They are in the Bible so we know they are essential.
- They are directly from the mouth of Jesus.
- Jesus is telling us the most important things for us to know.
Also, I consider how rarely I follow them. They sound good on the page and in church, but if I were to love my neighbor as I love myself, things would get a little rocky. Why? Because sometimes I don’t love myself well.
Sometimes it can be easier for us to love the people in our lives than it is to love ourselves. We get caught in the idea that it’s prideful or silly to love ourselves well. But Jesus is clear about the order of things.
First, We Must Love God
We don’t start with ourselves. We don’t start with our spouse. We don’t even start with our kids. We begin by loving God.
It’s not enough to love Him in passing. We are called to love him fully, with our hearts, our souls, and our minds. Will we do this perfectly? Absolutely not. But it is what Jesus calls us to do.
We Can’t Skip What’s Next: Ourselves
This is the step so many of us skip. We think that we go from loving God to loving everyone else. The only thing that has happened in my life has left me cranky.
When we jump right to loving others, we are working outside of the framework Jesus outlined. There is a reason He tells us to love others as ourselves. If we’re always berating ourselves, passing over ourselves, and forgetting to experience love within ourselves, we can never fully love the people around us.
Instead, as we love God with our whole selves, we are filled with Him. This gives us the opportunity to fill ourselves up with His perfect love. Once we do that, we can extend love to those around us.
Now We Love Others
This is when we can love others in the best way possible. Filled with Jesus, and experiencing His love, we have the reserves to extend love to the people around us. We can love them fully, without judgment or impatience. We can love from a place of confidence in Christ.
How to Show Yourself Love
Showing yourself love may not be something that comes naturally to you. I know it doesn’t come naturally to me. That’s why we start with loving God.
As we love Him and receive His love for us, we can better understand how to live loved.
Some simple ways to show yourself love are:
- Read God’s Word
- Make the meal you love (even if it’s not your family’s favorite)
- Get outside
- Take a few deep breaths or practice box breathing
- Meditate on a scripture
- Get the sleep you need
- Say yes to more of the things you love
- Say no to the things you don’t love (and don’t really need to do)
- Try something new
- Ask a friend for help
- Listen to a song that makes you smile
- Look at old pictures
- FaceTime a friend for no reason and don’t rush to get off the phone
- Read a new book
- Speak truth over your life (out loud!)
- Pick the restaurant for date night
- Wear something that makes you feel beautiful
- Get yourself flowers or a plant
- Choose a favorite movie from your childhood for family movie night
- Light the fancy candles
Final Thoughts
There are so many ways to incorporate more self-love into your life! As you try things, notice what makes you feel loved. When you feel loved, you are free to love others more.
Wife Step: Choose one item from the list above to do this week to show yourself love first, so you can love God and others even more.
Rebecca Hastings is a writer and speaker helping women discover faith in their real, everyday life. Married for 23 years, she is a wife and mother of three living in her hometown in Connecticut. Her books, including Worthy: Believe Who God Says You Are, are available on Amazon. Rebecca can often be found typing words, driving her kids places, or wherever there is chocolate.
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𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐩𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐬
𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠
𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐩𝐭𝐨
𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐬
𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲
𝐂𝐲𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 & 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲
𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬
𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬.
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡-𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬
𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐝, 𝐡𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝, 𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐩. SEFTYHUB @ 𝐠𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐥. 𝐜𝐨𝐦 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬.