By Dawn R. Ward
Have you ever thought about the influence you have on your husband? You can choose to have a positive influence on your husband, and here are ideas to consider.
The Influence You Have On Your Husband
As wives, we have an incredible influence on our husbands’ lives, attitudes and how they feel about themselves. We can build them up by a simple act of kindness or tear them down with a sarcastic roll of our eyes. Our influence on our husbands goes much deeper than giving them kisses before they walk out the door (although that goes a long way) or biting our tongues when we feel like giving them a piece of our minds.
Our husbands face a myriad of daily attacks on their self-esteem. As wives, we have the amazing ability to help them see themselves through the eyes of their Creator. In a sea of negativity, our influence can be a powerful voice of truth, drowning out the lies and accusations of the world.
Perhaps you haven’t been the best influence on your husband lately. You’ve been feeling grumpy, tired, overwhelmed and under-appreciated. You know you need to try harder, but you’re just not feeling it. Making these positive changes isn’t as difficult as you might think. I’ll help you get started.
The Power of Positive Influence
I have been married for over forty years. During our marriage, I learned to recognize the influence I have on my husband. I was only 18 when we pledged our vows to remain together until “death do us part.” I knew nothing about the power of positive influence, so instead I resorted to making demands and nagging. Not a good way to start off a marriage, right?
If you are like me, you may have also picked up a few bad habits along the way. Have you fallen into the trap of being bossy or controlling? Is your attitude having a positive or negative impact on your husband and your marriage? Please don’t get frustrated with my questions and throw in the towel. Change for the better is possible. Today I’ll share with you three ways I learned to have a more positive influence on my husband.
3 Ways to Positively Influence Your Husband
The Bible is a love story between God and his children. His unconditional love is described in the book of 1 Corinthians. As you read through these verses, consider how God’s love can transform your attitude, words and actions and positively influence your husband.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)
- Believe in him.
Are you your husband’s biggest cheerleader? If your husband is like mine, words of affirmation are his love language. My husband thrives on compliments, but I tend to assume he knows I am cheering him on. Your husband will love knowing you are in his corner. Hearing the words, “I believe in you, honey” can improve his disposition for the better, along with building his confidence.
- Encourage him.
Let’s face it; life is hard. It is difficult to encourage our husbands when we are also feeling down. One thing I have learned is that encouragement is contagious, kind of like paying it forward. When we encourage our husbands, we will also feel encouraged. Sharing a simple kind word or gesture when your husband is feeling down takes little effort, but makes a tremendous difference in how he will handle stressful situations.
- Be patient with him.
Patience is not my strongest virtue. Patience does not always come naturally, but thankfully, it is a fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22). We are blessed with patience as we choose to walk in love for our husbands. When it comes to patience, practice really does make perfect. Start by overlooking his small idiosyncrasies, not majoring in the minors and by choosing your battles wisely.
Ask the Lord to help you have a positive influence on your husband when he is feeling discouraged or defeated. May the Lord bless and encourage your heart as you seek to be an encouragement to your husband.
Wife Step: Consider the three ways you can have a positive influence on your husband. Choose one to work on this week.
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Dawn Ward is a speaker, writer and blogger. She is the founder of The Faith to Flourish, a ministry that equips women who desire to grow in their faith, cultivate healthy relationships and thrive in all seasons of life. She also ministers to women with loved ones struggling with addiction, mental health issues and life-destructive behaviors. Dawn is the co-author of the book “Still Standing After All the Tears Workbook: Faith in the Battle Edition. She has been married to her husband, Steve, for over forty years and is mom to three adult children. It is her passion to help all women grow in their faith as they learn to better understand the Bible and how to apply it to their lives.
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