By Bailey Richardson

If someone were to ask you to describe your identity, what would you say? 

Your list might look similar to mine:

• Wife
• Daughter
• Friend
• Mom
• Career Title

We define ourselves by our roles, our relationships, and our accolades. And there’s nothing wrong with that—those are definitely part of our identity! But often we forget what should come first for our identity.

While those other roles we play are so important, they can also be temporary, conditional, and ever-changing. Sometimes we even put too much stock into them. 

On days when I find much of my identity in trying to be a great mom—but then I snap and yell at my kids—I feel like a total failure.

When I take pride in being defined as a supportive and gracious wife—but then I lose my cool and undermine my husband—I feel like I’ve lost myself on a deep level.

When my identity isn’t firmly rooted, I’m easily swayed by the winds of change in my life.

But when I can come to the truth that my identity is in Christ and his unconditional love for me, I’m able to hold onto something solid even during life’s challenges.

Finding Your True Identity

What if the first word we used to describe ourselves was one of these?

• Beloved
• Chosen
• Daughter of the King
• Friend of Jesus 

Friends, we need to remember these truths about ourselves. We need to memorize truth and speak it over ourselves, our friends, our family, our kids. 

When we forget the truth of who we are, we get rattled by the trials of life.

But when we remember that our identity is secure in an unshakeable God, we can face trials with faith and confidence, knowing we’re fully known and fully loved no matter what.

4 Truths About Your Identity

I want to share with you four of my favorite (and perhaps less common) scriptures about who God says you are. I have written these on sticky notes on my mirror, used them as a phone background, written them on my arms in pen, and simply memorized them so I can repeat them over myself when my identity feels assaulted.

1. When you need to combat shame 

“Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” Psalm 34:5 (NIV) 

Shame is a sneaky monster and can really steal our peace and keep us from abundant living. But looking to Jesus makes us radiant and unashamed!

2. When you need to remember your beauty

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV) 

Our beauty doesn’t come from the amount of likes we get. It comes from this miraculous fact that God is shaping us into his exquisite image.

3. When you forget your value

“This, then, is how you ought to regard us: as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the mysteries God has revealed.” 1 Corinthians 4:1 (NIV) 

We have been given the incredible privilege of being entrusted with the mysteries of God! We get to be his servants. Our life has irreplaceable value because of God’s love and plans for us.

4. When you feel unloved

 “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV) 

On my worst days, it can be hard to believe anyone could love me. But this reminder is such a lifeline for me! God takes great delight in you, friend. Even when you feel unworthy, He rejoices over you with singing! What a beautiful reality. 

Wife Step: Pick one (or all!) of these verses to memorize or display somewhere you’ll see it often. Extra credit—use them to encourage a friend, sister, daughter, or mother of their identity in Christ as well!

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Do you want to intentionally grow your faith and marriage? If so, we’ve created the A Wife Like Me Collective for you! We’re waiting for you!