Loving Through the “Worse”

For centuries couples have recited the lines to one of the most famous vows of our society; “To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.”

While saying these words, our hearts were full of hope, our eyes were dreamy, and we couldn’t imagine the ‘worse’ and how that might play out in our lives.  

My husband has gotten a good view of my ‘worse’ lately. Relationship struggles  have left me depleted, bitter, aggravated, and overwhelmed. And of course, my gentle, ever-present hubby has been my sounding board.  He has listened while I bemoaned my circumstances, has been a source of encouragement, and has held me accountable for my part in these circumstances.

On top of my relationships struggles, a recent fall has left me at my “worse” physically.  I have needed help with things that I usually accomplish on my own. My husband has taken on more of the load at home and in our business.

Speaking of business, I have been at my “worse” in this area as well.  I have been discouraged by the struggle to make ends meet with a failing business while being at odds with my husband as to how to resolve it.  This has led to many arguments and a whole lot of discouragement.

Have you been in a place where it feels like your marriage is in its “worse”?

In these moments where my “worse” is evident, I’m reminded of the grace in abundance and patience beyond compare shown to us through Christ Jesus. My sweet husband does his best to show me such compassion. And his love raises the question in my heart, how do I love my husband when he is at his “worse”?  Am I patient, loving, understanding, and full of grace? Do I give the same qualities I so willingly receive? Or does his “worse” spur me to anger, resentment, impatience, and unforgiveness?

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us.  God is Love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in Him.  (1 John 4:16)

Abide means to endure or to last a lifetime.  I see where God, in his abiding love for me, has brought this man to me that has a love for me that will last a lifetime, despite the times I am at my “worse”.

Wives, our prayer today should be a desperate prayer for the ability to love our spouses during their “worse”.  We can also pray that in our “worse” moments, Our Father in Heaven will give our husbands the ability to offer grace and accountability in a gentle way that smoothes away our own rough edges.  

Then we have the joy and privilege of experiencing not only the abiding love of God for eternity, but the enduring love of our spouse “until death do us part.”

Wife Step: Take a moment and reflect on your ability to offer grace to your husband in his “worse”, and reflect on Christ’s grace given to you in your “worse.” Then, communicate to your husband via text, phone call, or in person your desire to love him as Christ loves you in your “worse.”

Betty Predmore is a writer, blogger, speaker, and ministry leader. She is a licensed Christ-based counselor and is Co-founder of the Women of Virtue Empowerment Network, a faith-based non profit organization created for the purpose of inspiring and encouraging women to find help and hope in Jesus Christ. She is also founder of Mom-Sense: Making Sense of Motherhood, where she writes and speaks on motherhood issues. Betty loves to speak at events, sharing practical life application mingled with God’s word, and sprinkled with humor.  She enjoys sharing her blogs on social media as a way of reaching out on a broader spectrum.  Social media has given her a platform to reach much farther than her feet could take her.