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By Karen Friday

 

We live in a world of online friendships and like-buttons. Within minutes or even seconds of a social media post, we hope for some likes. Loves and wows are not too shabby either. 

 

Yet here’s a disclaimer online social venues should put in print: We aren’t liable for your lack of likes or engagement on any post; please don’t hold us accountable for rude remarks, but consider blocking the person responsible; and if you want more presence, consider posts that might have better appeal to our online community.

 

In the same way, we can’t always hit the like-button in marriage. Times we feel our husband is not our friend. Instead, rude remarks are left hanging in the air long after we leave the room. So we block our husband on an emotional level. Because, if you’re similar to me, I don’t believe he deserves my like or my love in that moment. 

 

But when my husband doesn’t like me in a particular instance, he assures me, “This doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” While it’s hard to believe, I choose whether or not to walk in the assurance of his love. 

 

I must lay down the lie that like and love are the same in marriage. 

 

And it holds true for times I refuse to click the like-button for my husband. Not only refuse to hit it, but I never acknowledge such a button even exists. Especially if I’m hurt or sulking or having a pity party. 

 

The problem with pity parties is that no one else is invited and no one would show up anyway. 

 

You see, sometimes we lack the engaging aspect in our marriage. There’s more appeal with others in person or online. Those who may not see when we as a wife, our husband, or our marriage is not likeable. It causes us to reach out to friends and feel a comforting connection with them compared to our spouse. 

 

Here’s the truth. Christ loves me when I am not likable. And I am not likable—a lot. If Jesus ceased to love me every time I messed up, He would be a God of superficial love. My story is full of never-ending love from a God who loves me when others don’t like me . . . when I don’t like myself. And He calls us “friend.”

 

God still loves my husband when I don’t feel like hitting the like-button in our marriage. He’s the only One who transforms us and our spouse into His image. And He helps us love our husbands when we don’t like them. 

 

How can we walk as wives in the assurance that God loves us and our husbands regardless of our likability? 

 

Wife step: Memorize God’s disclaimer: “You can never do anything to lose my love for you.  Neither can _____________ (Insert your husband’s name). My love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.”* God. 

* 1 Corinthians 13:7 ESV.

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