Prioritizing Your Husband During The Christmas Season

Does the Christmas season take a toll on your marriage? The busyness of the holiday has often tempted me to put my marriage on the back burner.

As a newlywed, I didn’t need reminders to prioritize my husband during busy December. It was just us two, and we could watch as many Christmas movies as we wanted, snuggle by the lit Christmas tree as long as we liked, and wrap gifts as leisurely as we pleased.

Then our children were born. Christmas is a delightful season to celebrate with children, but our Christmas celebrations soon revolved around the children instead of our marriage.

Each December after our firstborn came into the world, my husband grew a little more Grinch-like. It took me a few years to understand that his grumpiness wasn’t because he disliked Christmas. It was because he missed me.

I had gotten too involved in enjoying Christmas celebrations with our children to notice.

The school parties, Christmas parades, and gingerbread-house-building days had sneaked into first place.

I had to stop and remember that my husband still needed me. With a little effort, I started scheduling date nights right in the middle of busy December. He feels valued and loved when I carve out this time just for him.

If you’re a busy mom, you know just how hard it can be to squeeze any extra event into your holiday schedule. The weekends are booked with parties, and even the weeknights seem packed. But I have learned that scheduling at least one date night between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve pays huge peace dividends in my marriage.

We keep our date nights simple in busy December. A Sunday drive to look for wildlife in the fields brings us peace. A shared slice of cheesecake at the local bakery gives us a sweet memory when time is tight. Watching a grown-up Christmas film like The Family Man while snuggling in our bed helps us feel closer.

Philippians 2:3-4 tells us to look to the interests of others, not only our own interests. I meditate on this verse in busy December, remembering that I must put my husband’s interests at the top of the holiday priority list. As I have removed a few items from my December to-do list and cut back on the children’s activities, I’ve reaped benefits by prioritizing my husband in the Christmas season.

Wife Step: Consider how your husband usually acts in December. Is he withdrawing a bit because he misses you? Does he take second place to your children or your to-do list? You can help him feel valued and loved by prioritizing time just for the two of you. Go ahead and mark it on your calendar now, and your marriage will be blessed.

This post is adapted from the chapter Peace in My Marriage in my book, Christmas Peace for Busy Moms.

Sarah Geringer writes about Finding Peace in God’s Word at sarahgeringer.com and is the author of three self-published books. Her book on Christian meditation will be published by Leafwood in late 2019. When she’s not reading or writing, Sarah enjoys painting, baking, gardening and playing the flute. She lives in her beloved home state of Missouri with her husband and three children, right in the heart of prime viewing for the Great Eclipses of 2017 and 2024.

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