Why Saying “Yes” Can Help Your Marriage
Who likes to hear, “no”? I certainly don’t.
So, when my husband suggested we go on a four day float and camping trip down the Rogue River in Oregon instead of us vacationing at Mount Rushmore as planned, I said, “yes.” Did I know exactly what I was saying “yes” to? No. But the smile on my husband’s face was worth it.
As the months then weeks drew closer to our float trip, my mind began swirling. What do I pack? How do I pack everything I need for four days in a bag no larger than a brown grocery bag (one of the many details I found out about after saying yes to the trip.)
Keith’s and my adventure paddling category 2-4 rapids, sleeping on a mat on the ground, seeing a bear on the trail to the outhouse, and using a “groover” for a toilet were part of the “yes” that I didn’t realize I was saying yes to, but it all added to the adventure my husband loved and the adventure I mostly loved.
Why “Yes” Is Important
Think back to when you began dating your husband. More than likely, in addition to the things you had in common that drew you to one another, you each also brought variety to the relationship. Maybe he tried eating some of the foods you liked that he’d shied away from before dating you. Maybe you listened to music he liked that hadn’t been a favorite of yours. Perhaps you tried hiking even though you’d never owned hiking boots. Or he agreed to go shopping with you while admitting that he hated shopping.
The point is, when we’re dating we tend to say “yes” to more things. And, saying “yes” is important because it helps us better understand what the person enjoys and why. It lets us glimpse into their soul. Sharing experiences draws us closer to one another. It bonds us. We make memories. Our conversation broadens because we discuss our shared experiences. When we say “yes” to our husbands it affirms to them that we trust them, we’re interested in going and growing with them. And ultimately, it strengthens our marriage.
What We Can Say “Yes” To
Obviously, we don’t want to say yes to unwise purchases, unhealthy choices, or sin, such as pornography or drugs. But “yes” to a concert, book, dinner date with another couple, new recipes, weekend outings, or his favorite sporting event goes a long way to strengthen our connection as a married couple.
Wife Step: What have you already said “yes” to that turned out to be something that drew you closer together as a couple? Pray and ask God to help you loosen the reins on what keeps you comfortable and to have a more willing response to say “yes”.
Debbie Taylor Williams, founder of Hill Country Ministries, a non-profit 501© 3 dedicated to spreading God’s Word and love, is a sought out national Christian speaker and author. Best known as a passionate Biblical expositor, Debbie uses humor and practical illustrations to communicate spiritual truths to women of all ages and walks of life. She has written 7 books and produced numerous video driven Bible studies, including The Plan A Mom In a Plan B World, The Plan A Woman In a Plan B World, Pray With Purpose, Live With Passion; Prayers of My Heart; If God Is In Control, Why Do I Have A Headache?; If God Is In Control, Why Am I A Basket Case, and Discovering His Passion.
Bailey Richardson is the wife of a Paul Bunyan look-a-like, the mama of a growing little family, and a woman on the wild adventure of pursuing Jesus. She lives in a small lake town in Minnesota where her family is highly involved in their local church and Young Life, a global non-profit youth ministry. A self-proclaimed “recovering perfectionist,” Bailey loves writing for and connecting with women who want to more deeply experience the grace, freedom, and abundance that comes from following Jesus. You can find her at baileymrichardson.com or on Instagram @baileymrichardson.
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